The whole world is gearing up to face the end dis year, if not the whole world but a faction atleast. While the world may end or not in Dec 2012, my end is imminent. This post is part of the continued series leading up to the end of my bachelorhood, the thought of which makes me tremble. Many of you would have read the older blogposts about how it all started. For those who havent please please read the blogs related to Mere Yaar ki Shaadi hai, its a nicely scripted 4 blogposts which can make you laugh. Ok, too much of self gratification is bad for health, so as I was saying day by day I inch closer to my end. This post is a stepping stone to that very day.
I do have these update calls with my mom on which the major dicussion would be how many kilos have you lost, did you go to church today (many such calls happen on a sunday evening), but the most pressing and the most ridiculous topic is that on my marriage, and that too every week, beat that. So again after the usual 2 discussion topics we move on to the very mundane very hot discussion topic.
mom: mmmmmm (u know when u eat something really delicious and u relish that stuff wid a mmmmm expression, thats how my mom started the conversation)
mom: now you cant escape, one more year now to go
this "one more year" is in reference to my bday which had just gone by (for those who didnt wish me please do here atleast), so since the last bday or rather the whole of last year I was trying to reason that I was just 26 years old, still a kiddo for marriage (though many traitors i.e. erstwhile close friends, younger than me, did marry before me..and this is a closely guarded secret which my mom doesnt know)
So for the past one year I was telling her that I still want two more years to be even ready (for my parents "ready" means ready for the wedding date and not ready to start the search), hence with the designated one year out of the two passing by and stepping an inch closer to that 28 years mark, my mom was more than happy, rather kept relishing the fact.
me: I m still 27 (modulating my voice pitch so as to present 27 is equivalent to being 17)
mom: so??? leave it, v have to start the search for a girl now
me: arre kahan mar gyi ladkiyan, itni to hai na
mom: nahi, u dont know, there's an apparent dearth of mallu girls (I was reminded of the save tiger initiative, only 1100 left, save tigers now)
I came back to my senses finding my mom has not diverted from the topic and is still continuing
mom: you see your cousin, poor fellow he is 32 years old and he is not getting a good girl to get married to
me: arre woh isliye woh nalaayak hai, use kahan se milegi
mom: shutup dont talk nonsense about your cousin, so where were we?, yes, i was talking about your poor cousin, see even his parents are disappointed, no girls left
me: maine nahi kaha tha unko nurse banane aur gulf (read gelf) bhagne ko
mom: dont say nurse nurse or I ll get you married to a nurse
(I seriously dont understand whatsup with the fantasy of getting married to a nurse, its like Kerala is like a huge production factory where almost every product churned out is a nurse, andddd I dont want to get married to a nurse)
mom: ok, see all your friends are married
me: (blatantly cutting the conversation in between) NO
(even though I hve been on a wedding attending spree I wished that mom be unaware of this crude reality hence with a blatant lie I tried to force my point)
me: look at XYZ, he is not married, he is my age
mom: he must have brothers and sisters of marriageable age
me: NO all of them already married long back, his parents are not even bothered
(I thought I will counter my mom with the tactics they used in my childhood days, peer comparison, look at your friend, he studies well, he sings, he dances, always comes first in the class; I thought I will stop the conversation by doing the same, peer comparison, look at his parents, so cool, never bothering him, never pressing him for the marriage but the answer mom gave made me think no more)
mom: silly boy, thats because his parents have already selected a girl for him
(if parents come up with such statements you know you cant reason)
mom: so whats it, do you want us to search or do you have someone in office already, you tell us we can approach her parents
(now if parents come up with this kind of statement you just know you cant run now, your end is apparent, all is decided)
as mom kept on going on about the benefits of marriage, I was lost in my afterlife thoughts, resigning from the fact that this year the world may end or not my world would surely end. I shall update you guys, after all I will have to send you all the invitation of the death of my bachelorhood, the age of free spirit like the wind, and the invitation of a dependent afterlife, the age of bondage and exploitation and rebellion (what!!! rebellion when have I ever seen a rebellious husband, all rebellions are crushed without mercy by the force of tears and emotions and KIDS)
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I wanted to do this retro movie review since some time; finally after getting motivated from a friends
blog, I decided to pen down reviews of some good old forgotten movies. Now these movies are in a different league altogether; they didnt have the benefit of today's CGI or VFX or any other technology for that matter, a lot of innovation when you dont have technology at your disposal, when a death defying stunt meant really a dangerous act, where the whole movie depended on the characters of the film and a lot on an engrossing script (which today is very redundant). I barely manage to find these movies on air nowadays admist a deluge of dubbed movies or repeated telecast of a new flop/blockbuster movie (dabangg is still aired almost every weekend by colors). I must attribute my love for movies to the retro ones aired by the then telecast mammoth DD.
Anywys in my long list of retro movies Ankhiyon ke Jharokhon se (akjs) was one in its kind. The first thing that hit me was the melodious album. I guess Rajshri always emphasized on importance of good soundtracks of all of their productions. I was told the soundtracks were a huge hit that days and till date are very much hummable.
The second thing was the script, it reminded me a lot of the movie a walk to remember, a beautiful love story which is headed to a tragic ending, akjs was lot more than a walk to remember. while the latter just focuses on the love story and the chemistry between the two leads, akjs is lot more than just the chemistry between the two main protagonists. Its relies heavily on the chemistry between the other characters, dad son, mom n daughter, dad n daughter in law, friends. The story starts off with Sachin being the hero of the class, always coming first in his class, only this time he loses out to a newcomer, Ranjeeta. Jealousy and ego makes way, few pranks are played, a bit of hatredness n a bit of competitiveness but our protagonists ultimately end up in love. In between there is this wonderful song, 30 years back Rajshri had shot a song using freeze motion technique (where all the subjects are frozen up mid way and only the protagonists are in action). To me this was an amazing discovery, I never thought anyone used that technique in Indian cinema. Today technolgy can easily give you that effect but 30 years back they did it without any help. Just Classic. anyways back to the plot they decide to get married and thats when tragedy strikes, the girl is diagnosed with leukemia cancer in its final stages. Lots of emotional drama form up the chunk of climax which is done really well by two not so well actors of that time. The way both the bubbly characters transform from college like characters to ones in love to the ones who are about to loose someone close is really very well done.
Sachin does his part really well, his bubbly character is as much enjoyable as is his coming of age mature one who is about to loose his loved one. Ranjeeta who before this movie was just about unknown, pulls off her character very well. She plays the character of a girl who's bugged / ragged since she s a newcomer but manages to prove her superiority before all. You will easily connect with her "the girl next door" image. Her role was highly acclaimed by all post the release of the movie. Sachin's dad, Ranjeeta's mom, friends, the doctor uncle all have their equal share and manage to connect with the viewer.
Overall the movie is one of my faves and I would recommend it to all who are fans of retro Indian flicks. Happy viewing.
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In a time when watching 1.5 hours long movie can in itself be a pain, imagine a torture that extends to 3 hours. Well Mausam is gonna subject you to such kinda torture. Painful, slow torture leading to a traumatized state of mind, a state which has made me hate words linked to Mausam like Awesome Mausam, suhana mausam or anything related to movies. I m so traumatized I m taking a sabbatical from movies. If i were to rewrite 3 mistakes of my life, Mausam would easily defeat the others in contention.
Where did it go wrong?? in just about everything, from the script, acting, to an amazing climax (which deserves a "Razzie" I shall come to it in the end) everything was screwed. Mausam is a series of unfortunate events that happens to our protagonists Shahid aka Harry and Sonam aka Ayaat. Now this series involves all the sad events that happened in India for the past 2 decades, right from Kashmiri Pandits exodus to Ayodhya, to Mumbai blasts, Kargil, ending up in riots stage in Ayodhya. Not to forget the script goes international and includes 9/11 affecting the lives of our protagonists as well; So you see all sad events are related to these unfortunate two. This movie can be shown to kids in History classes as a reference to the unfortunate events that happened in India. The script is really loose and presents you an irritating rollercoaster ride in terms of highs and lows. I mean you may ve just encountered a nicey nicey happy scene, then suddenly out of nowhere tragedy strikes and we are staring at horror stricken faces or sad ones and then just like that the happy happy jolly good scenes return. Secondly, the entire film is so slow that you can watch first 30 mins (the only watchable part) return back "after the climax" and you will find nothing has changed. Why m I stressing on the awesome climax? Because in the climax when our protagonists end up in a abandoned mela after being set ablaze by rioters, the viewers are subjected to 3 main characters and some amazing kickassery after that. the characters being: Our hero who has a paralyzed arm due to an air crash, a kid who is stranded on a Ferris wheel suspended mid way with his dead mother (didnt understand how the mother died) and a horse. To make things more complicated our paralyzed hero saves the horse (not to ride it but just to save it) and also the kid with his miraculously healed arm (clap. clap. clap) so the audience is shown the caring nature of our hero for animals and human alike which was so essential you see.
In terms of acting only Shahid does ok along with Aditi Sharma (she s goood). Sonam is really really bad when it comes to acting. She can best be a model, I dont understand whats up with the fake laughter. All she does is laugh hysterically in happy scenes or scream in sad ones.
Overall Mausam is a sad and a total devastating watch. dont watch it even if somebody pays for it.
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Epilogue
First of all to set things clear and to exonerate my parents I shall clear them first. Its my parents wish that I should get married asap, n dis wish didnt cultivate in a day or so, it started the very day I got my joining letter (so you see I m sort of fighting a lone battle). And to top it all, a few years back it was the Marriage wave that apparently most of my friends were riding; the thing that makes it a really catch 22 situation for me is that many of them were 85 born, a fact that I have been strongly opposing before my parents. Currently the wave that my friends are riding is the first born kids wave, although this is out of syllabus I thought of informing you about the dynamic environment.
Although my parents wish aint wrong, given the huge age difference that we have, nor m I ridiculing them. Here I will just try to portray the particular "cold feet" that guys usually suffer from when they hear marriage. Not that I have already seen a girl or that my girlfriend has proposed me for marriage, but its because of my parents' continuous, persistent pestering that has got me over the edge. This cold feet is something I have already introduced it to my readers in the last part of my blog "Mere Yaar ki Shaadi hain".
You may think I m extrapolating the facts too much but to make you believe that I m in a state of crisis I shall present 2 incidents which rocked my life.
Chapter 1: The Nightmare
It so happened that on a beautiful Sunday night, a dream turned my world upside down, atleast in the dream. I could literally feel the shivers running down my spine. I was staring at my own wedding card (WTF), the date being someday in February which was just 20 days away (I was dreaming in Jan). I was stunned, what the hell m I doing here? I have a life to live, I have to explore places, I have to spend the weekends with friends, loitering around here and there and now!!! I can't. Now by nature I m not a very long term relationship holder you see, so here I m staring at my own wedding card and my entire life I will have to be committed to this one person, my entire life???!!!!! The mere thought was already disturbing my volatile mental state. I decided to take the exit route. I had not even seen the girl's name on the card. Even if twas Anne Hathaway (I think m exaggerating a bit, ok lets take) even if twas Angelina Jolie (ah too much you may say a married woman, final choice not changing it any more after all its my blog) even if twas Natalie Portman asking me to marry her, I wasn't going to marry now, leave alone checking out the name.
So I tell my dad "I m not marrying her"
My dad is stunned, he says, "You yourself agreed for the marriage, the girl is your choice, everybody had opposed it but you were relentless and now you are coming with this BS. Hell no, the date is fixed and you are going to marry her."
Me: "But da...."
Dad: "No buts, no ifs, you think its all a joke. Everything is done according to your wish. We have accepted the girl and the girl's side also would have done their preparations. No arguments"
Dejected I stared back at my own demise, my blatant fall. This couldn't be happening to me, I pinched myself to wake up, I slapped myself, whatever I did the truth was before me. I was getting married in 20 days and as its said the truth is bitter very bitter, so gulping down that bitter potion I drudged off, my stomach churning, with heavy feet praying to God for a miracle. And the miracle happened I woke up.
Now if you think that wasnt enough here's te second one
Chapter 2: When the lie thats meant to save your neck does exactly the opposite
Well I have this weekly call with my parents, where we discuss anything to everything, but one thing remains constant. "Have you gone to the church???". Now friends I have a totally different view on church and its activities, not that I don't believe in God anymore or that I find church a horrible place. The reality is that no matter what it is, how good the preacher is, I sleep in the church. Now wont God be happy that I sleep in my house than going to church and sleep in his house, no right. So I usually don't go to the church. So whenever my mom calls me I give the standard answer. "YES". It was one of those routine days when we were having this call and mom puts this usual stuff and I answer it casually as always. Well this time something more happened, the lie that was supposed to save me turned against me. She asked, "So you must be knowing when is the Marriage Preparatory Course scheduled to happen??". To all readers who dint know what a Marriage Preparatory Course MPC if I may call is, it is a course that is done by 2 individuals who are going to get married as the name suggests, or by folks who are in line for this. The MPC is conducted every few months or so, and if supposing someone is having a quick marriage they have other quick sessions, something like crash course. And the best thing is that this thing holds validity as a bus pass without which you cannot take a ride, I mean that without taking the course you are not eligible for a Catholic wedding. (I always wished they had some sort of a test at the end of it and I would flunk every time, not that I know the course curriculum). So back to the chapter when my mom asked me the question, the first thought that raced through my head was not that I should tell a lie and escape but "WHY ME". I can understand if I m getting married in a few months time or if I will marry my gf but without any of these conditions being apparent I was forced to ask "WHY ME". Then she started off about the benefits of all these and I knew this was going nowhere unless I find a quick exit strategy. So I blurted out, "Mom next month, and I ll attend". Now a bit of a lie is fine cause in the end I wanted to bail out of the conversation immediately or I risked being eliminated for ever. Anyways when the date would have approached I would have told Mom (had she asked me about it) that it was cancelled cause no one was marrying not the season (sorry for that horrible excuse, maybe you can help me script a better one, but the point is I still have time).
Conclusion
So you see the sad state of "affairs" (huh if only I had one) I m in. My bachelorhood is in real peril and I will save it come what may. Until yesterday when I came to know that my parents are coming down next month......wonder what reason I ll have to give them about the MPC, time is running out....
note: this is again part fiction and part reality. all the abridged parts are created just for time pass, no offence meant to the Church esp or its activities, just got over a fight regarding this
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With Golmaal 3 Rohit Shetty manages successfully to tickle those bones which were dead after watching this year's horrible zombie comedies like Khatta Meetha. Relying heavily on the chemistry of its ensemble cast with a virtually non-existent script the movie is a real treat to watch. If the first ten minutes is left to the fore gang led by Ajay Devgn, the last ten minutes proves why Johnny Lever is still the king of comedy. Adorned by PJs, brainless dialogues and some really funny scenes the movie scores in the first 15 minutes itself. Ajay Devgn is good as a short tempered man who has his lid off when he sees someone pointing a finger, he s accompanied by his brother Shreyas Talpade, who has a stammer. This family is headed by their single mom whose love for Mithun reinvigorates after meeting him since long. Mithun plays a bus driver character a single father who has adopted Arshad, Kunal and Tusshar the mute. Kareena plays the character in helping the love interests but the bigger trouble is to merge the 2 sets of siblings which sparks of a series of hilarious events. But this is the latter half which apparently is bogged down with an emotional scene in between which literally kills the fun part (a big mistake), else the first part is really funny when Ajay and Shreyas along with Kareena try to sabotage Kunal, Arshad and Tusshar's business and vice versa. In between are really funny scenes of Johnny Lever and his gang ie Vrajesh and Sanjay Mishra. Johnny has this character of a don who suffers from amnesia like Ghajini and his transition into different persona are out of the world. Meanwhile Mukesh Tiwari reprises his role of Vasooli bhai and gets cheated around as usual. The movie is absolute fun in the first half but gets a sudden break with a not so required emotional scene. The ending could have been more boring had Johnny Lever not shown his antics. Mithun packs a punch in his role, is funny in short bursts but good ones, one of his dialogues or rather spate of killer dialogues with Prem Chopra (as his love interest's rich dad) is as follows "jiske ghar seeshe ke hote hain woh basement main jaakar kapde change karte hain". Another scene worth mentioning is a mock/mute enacting of pushing up various stuffs up the other sibling gangs arse. Rohit's direction is good because of the fact he had no script weight, he was able to get some really good scenes, including a retro altercation scene of the wannabe husband and a rich dad with the music of those times.
Overall the movie is a total brainless must watch with a gang of friends.
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After watching this movie I couldn't believe that this came from the same team who got the absolutely amazing hilarious movie The Hangover. The movie is an ok watch but does it leave the impression that Hangover left you with? Nay, the movie doesn't even come close to the epic predecessor. Although it borrows a lot of scenes from its predecessor like the scene of jerking, getting high on drugs, the gang is replaced by the border police and the kid replaced by a dog here.
The movie is hilarious in bouts and some scenes does tickle laughs but overall its an okay ride. The movie seems like heavily inspired from a Steve Martin classic
Planes, Trains and Automobiles which shows a road trip of a man eager to reach his home and who meets a nerd on the way and a series of hilarious unfortunate events. Many scenes look like inspired by this movie. For e.g. the latter movie starts with protagonists meeting on the plane, ending their journey on the automobiles, the automobile getting destroyed totally, and before that the one of the characters searching for the rented automobile in the stop. While Steve Martin plays the sophisticated sort of smart fellow in planes, trains and automobiles, which here is played by Robert Downey, the role of an irritant ass played by John here is done by Zach. The movie has few memorable totally laughable scenes which include Zach and his dog jerking off, Zach Downey and Jamie drinking the ashes of Zach's father as coffee, Zach impersonating Marlon Brando as GodFather and Zach is given a series of roles to play by Downey who believes he is shit as an actor. Apart from these the movie is forgettable and atleast for me doesn't figure as my personal fav. The movie has got average ratings on
Rotten Tomatoes and good ratings on
imdb which is bound to come down as the more ratings come.
As actors the movie is completed Zach's pudding. He pulls off a really good role as a irritating stupid aspiring actor who plans to make it big in Hollywood. He does total justice to his character and his character overshadows everyone. He has a bigger role than what he had in Hangover and is good. Robert Downey seems a misfit, is unable to do justice to his part and is nowhere compared to Steve Martin's frustrated, tormented soul in P,T&A. Jamie Foxx comes as shadow and leaves as one.
Not a great watch but yes definitely a try for Zach's show.
2010,
Due Date,
Due Date 2010,
Hangover,
Jamie Foxx,
Planes,
Robert Downey,
Robert Downey Jr,
The Hangover,
Todd Phillips,
Trains and Automobile,
Zach
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